June 30, 2009

Tired Beyond Tired

I feel like I haven't blogged in forever. But I have been tired. Really tired. After analyzing the tiredness, it struck me that I have alot of changes going on in my life right now. And goodness, if anything sucks the energy out of you, it is having to change.


My boys are extremely tall (6'6", 6'7", and the third is on his way...5'11" at 13) When they had thier growth spurt in middle school, their legs HURT! Growing pains! Yes, there was pain involved. It's the same way with us. We all change and grow and we all show symptoms at some point. There could be pain, but sometimes it is more subtle, like tiredness.


We have a new church home, which I love, and the people are so warm and welcoming. But they are new to me and their is some tension in getting to know them. I am not relaxed like I am with people I have known forever. It's draining! It all takes time and soon I will be able to be free to be more...well, me.


There also have been changes on the home front. My oldest got married in December, my second graduated and is trying to get things in line for college, and my third has just started dating. All are changes that I have to adjust to. All sap me in some way. Not that they are bad changes, but changes nonetheless.


So, as I adjust, I find I need my sleep. I have to escape in books or movies to recharge. And all the while I feel guilty for not writing. Why can't my escape be writing? What does that say about me as a writer? I don't know, honestly.


These are just ramblings in my mind today, such as they are.



11 comments:

  1. You hang in there, Sherrinda. I ran into a similar issue recently when I had so much going on in my life that I just couldn't sit down and write. I was excited about the story I was working on but couldn't concentrate long enough to actually type words into the computer. So, instead I read and worked possible scenes to my own story in my head. Eventually, I found my way back to the computer.

    I said a prayer for you, your family and your new church home. What big adjustments you and your family are going through.

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  2. I love you ramblings...such as they are. :) You do have a lot of changes going on. Sleep is a wonderful, restorative thing. Love it up!

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  3. All it says is that writing is emotional for you and takes work. That's a good thing. If you could write with no energy, well, it would probably be a stinky manuscript. LOL
    Try not to feel guilty. We all need to recharge. I totally understand about new people too. It exhausts me when I'm around people I don't know very well.
    Oh, my legs used to hurt in high school too. Your poor guys (though you said middle school, didn't you?)
    Get some rest girl! Your manuscript will be better for it.

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  4. Hi Sherrinda,
    You are going through a lot!! I remember changing churches a lot growing up as a PK. It was stressful even if it was good. And when my husband was still in ministry and we had to start out at new churches, that was always busy and hard. So, I can relate to what you're going through. Don't be too hard on yourself. You got so much done a couple of weeks ago. Remember that. And you will get back to it. God's given you talent and the love of writing. But you will just have to come into a rhythm of writing that works for your life--and maybe that will come once you are through more of these changes. I'm praying!

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  5. wow...tall sons. sounds like my family...6'7", 6'6" and 6'4" men. i'm 5'11" (and was this tall at fourteen!) yikes! i'm hoping my little girl (for now) doesn't grow up to be quite so tall...maybe 5'9" would be good. :)

    anyway...i've been tired, too. going through many changes, as you know. (and julie's books kept me up at all hours...thanks for getting me started on those with my blog win!) my body just craves more sleep...and i'm thinking that i might be a tiny bit depressed, too. but this, too, shall past. for you and for me. :)

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  6. Hi, Sherrinda, it's always so neat to hear about your family and life, girl. Thanks for sharing. I'm going to pray for energy to come your way.

    And sometimes we need a break from writing to revunenate, fill are arsenal up again. Consider this the time for that and enjoy.

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  7. Heather, thank you for praying! I know prayers are a huge deliverer and I so appreciate them. I am really glad to know that you have struggled with some of that distraction from your writing. I was wondering if I was abnormal!!!

    Katie, you sweetie! My ramblings are not quite as riveting as your vibrations, but I guess I will have to make do...:)

    Jessica, thanks for the encouragement! So I am an emotional writer! What a novel idea. :) I have never really thought of it like that, but it makes sense for me.

    You know, Jody, I sometimes forget I am a beginner and will have to learn over time what works for me in juggling writing with life. I am thankful to have seasoned writers who take the time to encourage those of us who are just starting out this journey. Thanks for that!

    Jeannie, yes you know exactly! And you have had it so much worse! I've been trying to leave my cranky pants in the closet, because I tend to be cranky when tired! I'll loan them to you, if you need them! Hey, I am sooo glad you are enjoying Julie's books! They are just so much fun, though do tend to be sleep stealers!

    Eileen, thanks for your prayers! I know you are a prayer warrior! I read a book the last couple of days and thoroughly enjoyed myself. Reading is good therapy for me...one of my favorite things in the world!

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  8. I've found that, at some points in my life, writing is the greatest escape. At other times, it's reading books and losing myself in a world created by someone else. Occasionally (I wish it was more often) it's exercise.

    Keep smiling ... you will never be given more than what you can bear : )

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  9. I know what you mean with change, I hate it, I am os set in my ways now, that I don't want anything to be different


    mamat2730(at)charter(dot)net

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  10. KLo, it helps knowing others suffer like me, though I cannot imagine exercise EVER being an escape for me! Oh.My.Goodness! Just cannot imagine that!

    Edna, change is not always easy, but I figure it is always going to be a part of my life. I keep smiling!

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  11. Sometimes we just need a rest. You'll feel terrific and energetic again, don't worry.

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