October 12, 2009

Life Passing By


I went on a short trip to see my 93 year old grandmother yesterday. She was in town visiting my parents, who live an hour away. She wanted to take us out for lunch and so we went to Babe's, a family style, home cookin' kind of place. GREAT food, but oh my, the music was so incredibly loud, we had to shout at each other.

My grandmother has lived a long life and has experienced alot. She was a minister's wife for over 50 years, until Papaw passed away. She is an incredibly hard worker and spent her life to serve others. She hasn't any huge accomplishments to her name other than being a great wife, mother, and servant of God. I know, it is a HUGE accomplishment. A life to be proud of.

I look at my life and wonder what in the world am I doing? Will life pass me by so fast that I feel like I have accomplished nothing? Am I really contributing to the world? Does it matter what I do? What does writing have to do with anything in the grand scheme of things? It is such a solitary pastime and a preacher's wife should not live a life in seclusion, should she?

Sigh, I think the week of low clouds and no sun is affecting my mood. I would sing an Annie song, but I know for a fact it is supposed to rain once again tomorrow. Thanks for letting me wear my Doubting Pants today and spew forth from my well of gloom.


24 comments:

  1. LOL Well of gloom! That's a great description right there. :-)

    I can understand what you mean. I hope your spirits lift a little. Every little thing you're doing is for God, not for people, right? I kind of think it makes God happy when we play, like it makes me happy to see my kids playing. Writing is something special that he gave you. Not everyone does it. But I guess you have to decide whether it's what you want as part of your life. Tough stuff. :-( I hope that well of yours gets some fresh water. :-)

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  2. What a beautiful picture of the women in your family! And I do understand the need to make a difference with our lives. God gives writing to some people to impact the world. And perhaps he gives it to others for different reasons, maybe for personal enjoyment.

    When I look at the picture of each of the women in your family, I think how different each one of you is. And I'm sure that God created each one of you with different gifts and abilities. You won't be exactly like each other. You may not serve the Lord like your Grandma. I guess it's a matter of knowing what God wants YOU to do!

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  3. Writing will always matter. God himself thought so. He wrote a nice little book. Still in print I hear... :)
    And when you follow the words inside your heart I can't help but believe that what we do will matter to someone somewhere even if we never meet them.

    I'm sending bubbles and balloons your way. I'd send rainbows and magic ponies, but I am all out at the moment. :)

    I understand that need to matter... I ask myself the same thing alllll the time :))

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  4. Sherrinda, you have a lovely family!

    It almost tickles me how we have a few things in common. As a former Pastor's wife (now just a minister's wife), a mother who has been married to my Pastor father my whole life, ministry has been breed in me.

    The role of a preacher's wife means so many different things, but above all it means servant. You keep serving God and the people of God with the gifts he has given you. Don't be dissuaded.

    Your unique journey both in ministry and writing will have a great effect for this life. If God said it, you must do it. It matters or He wouldn't have called you to it.

    Be encouraged my dear sister, the greater One lives within. Every good work that He has begun in you- He will complete it.

    Blessings...

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  5. That's a lovely generations picture!

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  6. I empathize with you as I have spent the weekend with my head under the covers wondering at 63 years old what am I suppose to do with my life now? Is God done using me? Have I lived a life that He would be pleased with? If not, how can I make things right? And other questions that crowd my mind.

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  7. Oh, Sherrinda, I can relate to how you are feeling. Self-doubt can be such a difficult obstacle to maneuver away from, especially when we are so prone to try to find outside ways to try to fix it. Unfortunately, I think we have to dig deep within ourselves to find the sun and the spring blooms. We must ask God to bring us out of that winter season of the soul.

    That is an amazing picture (both photograph and words) of the women of your family. Something to be proud to be a part of and to add to.

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  8. Sherrinda, I'll pray for you--for a lift in spirits. You are so special to God!

    That's an amazing picture, by the way.

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  9. You make a difference in my life, just by allowing me to share the parts you put up on this blog.

    :)

    Put on your now-loose-fitting jeans and do a happy dance. You're part of an amazing line of God-fearing women.

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  10. Sherrinda, your beautiful children are proof that life is not passing you by. But it's always good to stop and contemplate what else we want to do in life and how we're going to do it.

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  11. Gosh I have those musing pretty regularly. I think at the end of the day if all my kids are following Jesus I've done just fine. I'd like to have the Lord move mountains through me though...

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  12. Jessica, I think my well is a little clearer today, thanks!

    Jody, you are a smart lady! Why is it we question what it is God wants us to do? I always doubt. Hhhmmm, seems like the Bible says something about that! :)

    Tabitha, thanks for the reminder! Writing DOES matter because the author of life wrote! :) p.s. I LOVE popping bubbles!

    Thank you, Tamika. Your faith and joy in the Lord is so evident and it is a blessing to me. Thanks for the encouragement! (So you used to be a Pastor's wife?)

    Janna, the picture was taken last fall. My daughter is standing next to me. My grandmother, mother, and one of my sisters is in the picture as well. :)

    Donna, I'm sorry you are struggling! I wonder if we all struggle at times with our purpose. May HE lift up your head and smile upon you! Be encouraged, for you are loved!

    Heather, you have a lovely way with words and your own post today mninistered to me! Thank you!

    Cindy, thank you for the prayers. I was thinking at work today that God was lifting me up and I just knew people were praying. Thank you!

    Erica, you made me smile! Dancing in my loose fitting jeans, indeed! I am truly blessed to have encouragers like you that I have gotten to meet online! :)

    Eileen, I think it is probably a good thing to stop and take stock of our lives. Not that being morose about it is a great idea, but we all need to re-evaluate our priorities at some time, don't you think?

    T.Anne, truly, if all kids love the Lord and are following Him, I will consider myself a success! Oh, that it is hope of my heart. :)

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  13. Yep, my husband Pastor for two years. He resigned, and we moved back to our home church in Austin.

    It was a journey I will never forget. I thank God every day for taking us that way, I grew in ways I probably would not have if He had not pulled me from my comfort zone.

    I did hear of the seminar- I hope to be able to attend. Thanks so much for all of your kind support.

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  14. Sherrinda - thanks for your honesty, girl. First, I have to get this out of my system. You and your daughter (that's your daughter, right?) are gorgeous! I don't think writing is a waste of time. I know it has brought me closer to God. I've never prayed for something so faithfully before. Blessings to you!!

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  15. Hi Sherrinda -

    Great pic of you and your family!

    Writing is part of me and part of you. God wove it into our DNA. I've determined I'll write with joyful abandon as long as I live.

    Blessings,
    Susan :)

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  16. Sherrinda, remember back when you commented on Cathy Bryant's blog?

    You won a free copy of The Familiar Stranger!

    Send your mailing address to christina [at] christinaberry [dot] net and I'll get that puppy right off to you. :D

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  17. Katie, you are sweet! Yes, that is my daughter next to me and she has such a beautiful spirit...one of joy. I just love her!

    Susan, I love that you are writing with joyful abandon. That is what I need to do instead of wondering all the time if God has really led me here. Just write for the fun of it! Thank you, ma'am!

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  18. Sherrinda: I trust by the time you read this, your spirits will have lifted. If not, know that God wired you to love words and communicating His love to others through those words.

    Preacher's wives make some of the best writers on earth, because they are in touch with people and what hurts, helps and heals them. Say, that was profound! I may use that one on my own blog. hahahaha!

    Love the beautiful photo of your fam. What a rich heritage.

    Love and prayers,
    Jen
    Audience of ONE

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  19. I have a Papaw, too! I look at my grandparents, and I know what an amazing example they have been to me and to my family. I am blessed by their presence in my life. If even one person attributes to me the qualities I attribute to them, I'll consider my life well lived. I hope you will, too.

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  20. Great picture! You said it best--you see your grandmother as being very accomplished. Her life added up to something great. So does ours.

    Did you call her Mamaw? Just wondering...

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  21. Yes, Jeanette, I am feeling much better. I don't know why I seem to have those waves of fear and doubt, other than the enemy likes to pick on me. I felt prayers over me Monday and my spirits did indeed lift! Thank you!

    Tara, I do want to emulate the beauty of my grandparent's lives. They are/were God-fearing, productive people who spent their lives to serve others. I'm glad your grandparents were ones to live up to. :)

    Jill, I think we all have ancestors who build a bridge through time. It is such a neat thing to think we all are a part of something greater.

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  22. Sherrinda,
    I am late with comments this week, so busy!! But I loved the picture of your family. Such a line of beautiful women!

    I am glad you are feeling more upbeat. This week I have enough confidence in our purpose to last for the both of us! I owe some of that to your husband and his sermon this week. When you read my post this week, I hope it will help with your issues of non-productivity. If he is really, really nice, you can let him read it to. :-)

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  23. Writing is done on your own, but it is not solitary. It is an honest, profound form of communication. A book that you really connect with can seem like one of your deepest friends. When you write you are not spending time by yourself, you are preparing something unique to send into the world and touch others.

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  24. Ava, aren't you nice! I must say, you definitely have the gift of encouragement. (and a beautiful way with words!)

    DWC, what a profound statement! I know I've read many books that have felt like friends! I think writing something that touches someone else like that would just be the best thing ever! Thanks for stopping by!

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