March 18, 2016

Searching the Inner Me...Who Am I?

Photo by Stuart Miles
at freeditigitalphotos.net
Do you ever get burnt out? If you are a woman, you probably can say a resounding YES! What is it about life these days that makes us weary and ready to crash? It's busy. I get that, but surely there is a balance to be had in our every day lives.

I have to say that last year was awesome. Brave was my One Word for the year and boy, did I step out and have success. Starting my Etsy shop and creating canvases and journals was such a joy. I lived and breathed it and totally loved it - until Christmas came and I over-extended myself and burned myself up. I haven't created anything since! That's like a quarter of a year of nothing!

I am researching a women's study called You're  Already Amazing by Holley Gerth to see if it might work for the women at my church and in it I found a few little checklists to see which category we fit in best when it comes to approaches to change. I read something in one of the checklists that totally fit me.

"You have good intentions when you begin but often get bored with your goals before they're completed."

Yes!!! That is so me. Like the art and calligraphy, I jump in and have grand plans and then...I'm done. I did the same with writing. I jumped in and wrote a book and then that was it. I decided to focus on something else creative. I'm back and forth...not able to finish anything I start because I want what is fresh and new.

It was like a light bulb went off when I read what Holly Gerth wrote. What if I can have it all? What if I can do a little bit of everything I love, taking enjoyment in it all instead of making the "one thing" a job (which takes all the fun out of the creativity). Who says I have to just do one thing? Why can't I just have fun doing what I love, whenever I want? So why don't I write for an hour, then paint for an hour each day? No pressure. No deadlines. Just do what I want, when I want.

God made me creative and I think He wants me to use the gifts He has given me for His glory. God spoke to me in July of 2012 to set aside my writing for a time and focus on Him, but I've been sensing the nudge to start up again. I feel like this light bulb moment is the sign I've been needing to put pen to paper once more. I love to write, but I love to play with letters and color too. So why not write AND create colorful things?

Yeah, I know you are thinking, "Duh...you are just now understanding that?" But sometimes I am a super slow learner and that is okay. At least I am still in the business of learning.

So in this searching of the inner-me, what have I found? I am a child of God, who has been given gifts to use. I may get confused from time to time, but deep down, I was made to create...whether with words or with art, I can create with joy in the One who made me that way.

So what has your searching led you to find?


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